


ghosts of satisfaction

by nap-hime (nap_princess)



Category: Hyouka & Kotenbu Series
Genre: Gen, Ghostbusters AU, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26792548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nap_princess/pseuds/nap-hime
Summary: “What are you wearing?”“That’s the proton pack I’ve been telling you about, and this is my ghost-catching outfit.”— Loosely based Ghostbusters AU
Relationships: The Classics Club
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	ghosts of satisfaction

**ghosts of satisfaction**

* * *

**i**

* * *

The dean's door slams in their faces. It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but Houtarou still flinches at the impact.

The office full of scientists falls into silence as the trio make their way around desks, inventions and wheeled whiteboards scribbled with Mathematical formulas. The feeling of their ex-colleagues’ eyes on them rivalled with an onlookers’ witnessing a walk of shame.

"I can't believe I'm unemployed," Mayaka utters in a low whisper.

Hotaru notices that her head is down and he isn’t sure if it’s due to embarrassment or if it’s because she’s close to bursting into tears. He would have given her a reassuring pat on the back if his hands weren't occupied by a box full of office supplies and rolled up blueprints.

"I can't believe he fired us," Satoshi says as he leads them out of the laboratory. "I’m sorry, guys, it’s my fault.”

“We all had a part in it,” Houtarou replies, even if he does admit that they did get carried away with their calculations and logics. 

“Still,” Satoshi continues, ignoring the lingering stares and sympathetic looks as they walk down the hall. “To fire us over a personal project is unprofessional! It's not like anybody stole any supplies. I bought everything with my own money and there’s no rule that bans use from using the lab's equipment sparingly. Just last week, Toogaito-senpai abused the printer.”

Mayaka says nothing in return and Houtarou doesn’t either. It’s been a tiring day, being regretful will just waste more unnecessary energy.

Satoshi’s shoulders drop after a heated moment. “I’ll drive you all home,” He says, and no one rejects the offer.

The trip down the elevator provides momentary solace and then darkness as they enter the basement parking lot.

Satoshi makes a big show; pulling out his car keys with a flare of dramatics while doing a balancing act. His overflowing box is barely resting on his hip, who knows what continents are crammed in there?

Houtarou thinks Satoshi is suddenly _too chipper_. Did something pop into his friend's head on the way down here? Houtarou peers at Satoshi and notes his face is scrunched up. Hmm.

He doesn't get to question it. Soon, the trunk is propped open and the trio tuck in their belongings.

“So,” Satoshi says after igniting the engine and whirling around to face his friends. “What are we going to do now?"

* * *

It started with a _manga_ called 'A Corpse by Evening'. 

Despite its name, it did not speak of corpses. At least, not in a traditional way. Not in the way _Mary Shelley_ did about _Frankenstein_. It did, however, speak of hunting ghosts and ghouls and certain chaotic _yokai_.

Houtarou couldn't put the damn thing down when he had chanced it with some of his time. It felt like he was possessed while reading it. Mayaka undoubtedly loved the _manga_.

But Satoshi? He was **obsessed**. _Became obsessed._ To the point that he started discussing the possibility of trapping ghosts. Houtarou and Mayaka humoured him at first, but then they started applying all the knowledge they acquired from their science degrees and work experience. Some of the theories even arose to full-blown arguments — the office caught wind of their new interest, but perhaps for the wrong reasons. 

It was all fun and games until Satoshi showed up to work Monday morning with this crazed look in his eyes.

 _"Have you slept at all?"_ Mayaka had asked, noticing the bruising and large eyebags.

 _"Not in three days!"_ Satoshi answered, then slapped a drafted blueprint plan with the words **PROTON PACK** scribbled on the top.

_“Is that —?”_

_“The nuclear accelerator we talked about last week!”_ Satoshi finished Mayaka’s sentence, still grinning largely.

 _“It looks like a good prototype,”_ Houtarou said, appearing with a cup of coffee in his hand. _“You should patent it.”_

 _“I can’t tell if you’re sarcastic or not, my brain hasn’t worked right since Sunday evening,”_ Satoshi muttered.

Houtarou only answered by taking a sip of his drink. _"It looks good on paper, but the real question is: Does it work? You need to test it out.”_

_“How am I supposed to do that?”_

_“I don’t know. Make it?"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yeah. Then summon_ Hanako-chan _and trap her in the pack then show her off in a clear cylinder."_ Houtarou answered, clearly sarcastic this time.

 _"Doesn't_ Hanako-chan _only appear in the girls' bathroom?"_ Satoshi asked back.

Both men turned to Mayaka.

 _"I —"_ Her voice cracked. _"I'm not going to summon a ghost by myself! You two are crazy!"_

_“Sorry, Mayaka, I forgot how you hate ghosts.”_

_“I only like them in theory,”_ Mayaka huffed, clenched her fists on her hips.

 _“Hey,”_ A new voice chided. Toogaito appeared, looking disapprovingly. _“Can you three stop messing around? Some of our colleagues think you all see our profession as nothing but a joke.”_

 _“Sorry,”_ Houtarou offered in a monotone voice while Mayaka glared. 

_“I don’t see anything wrong with talking about the paranormal.”_ She said.

Toogaito scratched the back of his neck then glanced at Satoshi who looked between delirium and exhaustion. _“Nothing wrong with talking about paranormal stuff, it’s just … it sounds like lunacy when you start saying you can catch them.”_

The trio stared at the blueprint. Had they really lost their minds?

* * *

**ii**

* * *

Houtarou will never admit this to anyone, but he feels practically naked without his uniform. He misses his white lab coat and secure goggles. It feels so odd working part-time at _Pineapple Sand_. Houtarou thinks the owner only hired him because he’s a regular at the café, but it’s still a kind gesture and a source of income regardless.

(Jobs haven’t come this easy to him since that one summer in his first year of high school.)

“Latte,” Houtarou says as he places the coffee on the table Mayaka’s occupied. Her pink eyes are glued to her laptop screen, she’s been sitting here for hours, polishing her resume.

Despite him being the one on his feet for the past hour, watching Mayaka work strangely makes Houtarou feel tired. Tired for him and tired for her. Still, it’s productive. Houtarou would rather see progress than a stagnant figure. He doesn’t know where the heck Satoshi’s been since he went on this strange ramble days ago.

"What do you think?" Mayaka asks, tilting her screen ever-so-slightly for Houtarou to read.

Houtarou’s green eyes sweep over his surrounding to make sure no other customers needs his attention before he bends forward, feeling the kinks in his neck pop. God, he’s gotten too used to sitting in front of a computer.

“Which part?” 

Mayaka just about points to the highlighted section she’s been trying to perfect for the past fifteen minutes straight when Satoshi bursts through the café doors.

“Houtarou! Mayaka!”

“Fuku-chan ...” Mayaka gaps back. “What are you wearing?”

Satoshi grins, turns and gesture to the clunky contraption strapped on his back. “That’s the proton pack I’ve been telling you about, and this is my ghost-catching outfit!”

The moment triggers something in Houtarou’s brain; a flash of their high school days and a mimic of the time Satoshi had sprinted towards him and Mayaka while yelling ‘Galaxyyy!’ on the top of his lung. Satoshi didn’t even make it through the classroom door, his creation slamming at the upper frame, but it was … an interesting Kanya Festival memory.

“Where’d you even get that jumpsuit?” Is the only thing Houtarou manages to say.

“Never mind that! The proton pack, Houtarou! Looks at it!” Satoshi wildly gestures to the nuclear death bomb he's willingly worn.

“I’m looking.” Houtarou replies. And it becomes more and more daunting that it looks _pretty illegal_.

Upon noticing the alarmed looks from the owner of the café and customers, Satoshi takes a seat across from Mayaka and pears at a discarded menu.

“One cup of green tea, please.” He says, beaming.

“Satoshi …” Houtarou begins then drops his voice. He’s just trying to earn some money while waiting for an employer to get back to him. This doesn’t need to be complicated. Turning to Satoshi, he says, “Right away.”

.

.

.

“What do you mean _we_ have a client?” Mayaka asks as she leans forward, elbows pressing into the table.

“It’s exactly what it means.” Satoshi replies.

"I can't believe you started a business without consulting us!"

“Why even include us?” Houtarou asks, fiddling with the hem of his apron. His glass of water has been left untouched and he wonders if he could extend his lunch break by an extra hour. It feels like what Satoshi will say next will leave a punch, he wants to recover.

“Because you two helped me come up with the proton pack and the containment unit.”

Containment unit ...

Houtarou glances at the flimsy rectangle Satoshi claims can trap ghosts, it looks fragile.

“I’m sorry,” Mayaka touches her forehead. “What does the client want us to do? Catch a ghost?”

“Well, she didn’t exactly say. Just that she wanted our help.” Satoshi says, his grin never once leaving his face.

“How did she even find out about us?” Houtarou asks. 

“I posted in a forum regarding our findings.”

Mayaka pinches the bridge of her nose. Again, when did they even become a business? "Fuku-chan —"

The café’s door swings open and a woman with long black hair steps in, her hand resting on her heaving chest and her large purple eyes looking around wildly.

“Ah,” Satoshi perks up, not the least bit embarrassed by his grey outfit or clunky backpack. “You must be Chitanda-san!”

.

.

.

Chitanda’s attention is mostly aimed at her Vienna Cocoa drink, stirring the heavy whipped cream floating on top. She hasn’t said much since ordering, and Houtarou can feel his precious minutes ticking away.

“Sorry if I sound impatient, but, if you don’t mind,” Houtarou speaks up. “I’d like us to get to the point of this meeting. My lunch break will end soon.”

At this, Chitanda’s posture straightens. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

"It's alright, take a deep breath." Satoshi encourages and Chitanda does just that after nodding.

Then she speaks, everything coming out at once. "I saw your ad about catching ghosts and — Please, I need your help! I know you’re no exorcist, but I don’t know who else to ask!”

"Um," Houtarou mumbles, feeling like an idiot for getting this poor woman's hopes up. Mayaka seems to mirror his guilt.

“I need help regarding an entity haunting the rice fields in my village. The farmers have said they've seen a mysterious figure appear and disappear. It hasn't done anything malicious so I'm hoping it's not an evil spirit! I'm hoping we can find a way to make it leave peacefully or perhaps have a chat if it wished to stay. Negotiate with it and find out what it's doing on our land. Actually, I — I really hope it's my uncle, Jun Sekitani! You see, his death anniversary is coming up, and I, um, I …" Chitanda trails off, tears swelling in her purple eyes.

It's difficult to turn down a person when they're crying the way Chitanda is.

* * *

**iii**

* * *

Considering how Chitanda's land is old, Houtarou wanted to chalk up Chitanda's thinking of ghosts to paranoia and desperation to the loss of a loved one. There must have been a logical explanation to why the estate where the paddy grows is giving the staff the creeps — creaky floorboards, ill-fitted doors that open on their own, faulty lights and bad heaters that cause the temperature to drop.

But then he sees the ectoplasm slime and he thinks, _Oh, this is happening._

And then, when he sees a see-through figure coming at them, Houtarou thinks, _Oh, wow! Okay, this is_ ** _really_ **_happening!_

“Satoshi!” Houtarou yells while Satoshi smacks the side of the proton pack. “What are you doing?! Fire that thing up already! Stop stalling!"

“I'm not!" Satoshi insists, looking frantic. "It’s still a _prototype_ , Houtarou! It has its kinks!”

“What do you mean? Are you saying it doesn’t work?!”

“No, just that I haven’t tested it out yet, so —”

Houtarou grabs the back of Satoshi's dumb plumber-like outfit and drags his friend away. Never in his life would he imagine to be the one to start running first.

.

.

.

Somehow, the four of them end up in the same room after running down what seems like endless halls. If this is what the _Scooby-Doo_ gang feels like, then Houtarou **hates** it.

Satoshi's put down the proton pack to fix up the last-minute issues while Houtarou is rooted to the spot. Chitanda's conveniently by his side, clutching onto his arm, telling the trio, "That isn't my uncle! That's not Jun Sekitani!" — which, just means the ghost is less friendly, doesn't it?

The sliding doors burst open and a woman in a _kimono_ and _Noh_ mask glides forward, her feet hovering off the floor and her claw-like hands stretched forwards.

"We're dead!" Houtarou whispers, and hopes he's wrong.

"Don't say that!" Mayaka scolds, which Houtarou wants to applaud on, he thought she was frozen in fear. Even when they're at death's doors, she still has time to tell him otherwise.

"I got it!" Satoshi beams, his fingers smudged with oil and grease.

"Do something then!" Because Houtarou honestly doesn't think Satoshi can be any slower.

Mayaka — being the real MVP — vanquishes the ghost while screaming the whole time. She doesn't stop, not for a moment. She's just _that_ terrified.

.

.

.

When the ghost is sucked into the machine and into a slim tube, Houtarou feels Chitanda collapse into his arms and acknowledges her trembling legs.

"Oh, thank goodness!" She says and Houtarou tries not to blush at their close proximity.

"I never want to do that again," Mayaka declares and slowly sinks to the floor. That seemed like an impossible fight. 

"You don't?" Chitanda asks curiously.

Mayaka lifts her head and Houtarou raises a brow. "What do you mean?"

“Well, my friend Kaho-san is a shrine maiden. It's been her profession for years, but recently she's been acting odd and —”

Why does Chitanda know so many people involved in the supernatural?

"We'll do it!" Satoshi exclaims.

" _Excuse me?_ " Mayaka asks.

"The proton pack works, doesn't it?" Satoshi reasons to Houtarou's frown and Mayaka's dropped jaw. "And this job pays, doesn't it? Our first job was a success and we should jump on this next request! Think about it, Chitanda-san is helping us network!" Satoshi only smiles, more wrapped up in his contraption working than anything.

"I promise you I'll pay for Kaho-san." Chitanda utters, looking just as desperate as she had at the coffee shop.

"I ..." Mayaka trails off, thinking back to her resume and the dread of applying to multiple positions. She turns to look at Houtarou, hoping he’d be the voice of reason, but she can already tell that Chitanda’s eyes have pulled him in.

"Let's just try it, okay? We don't even know if a spirit will show up!" Satoshi says and Houtarou doesn't know why but they all believe him.

* * *

**iv**

* * *

It's odd, but they've managed to ring in a few customers after Chitanda and Juumonji, enough to afford a new place. The dilapidated fire station they've bought reminds Houtarou more of a clubhouse for kids who wouldn't know any better than a legit business building. But it works, and now Satoshi and Mayaka are out trying to get more supplies.

Houtarou mans the reception desk, playing with a Rubix cube in his hands while he waits for the phone to ring. Truth be told, it wasn't his. It was Satoshi's. But it had been left mismatched and untouched for so long that it bugged enough to solve it. He wished he had left it alone though, these colours are taking up all his time.

Just then the phone springs to life, Houtarou puts down the cube, picks up a pen and answers. "Hello?"

"Good evening, Oreki-san."

"Oh, Chitanda."

"I got word from an acquaintance of mine regarding a ghost haunting the music room at Kamiyama High. She's a teacher there, and I'm wondering if you have a free spot next week for the school?" Chitanda says, getting straight to the point.

"Next week, huh?" Houtarou flips through the old fashion notebook and finds an empty date. What luck, they're usually packed for a month. "Is Friday good?"

"They're desperate so I'm sure that'll be fine! Thank you,"

Houtarou hums in return just as a thought enters his mind. "You know, Chitanda, you act like you're our agent at times."

"Oh, I didn't mean to butt into your work. I just happen to know a lot of people." Chitanda replies, clearly embarrassed. Houtarou can picture her cheeks tinting pink as she tells him this.

"No, I'm not complaining. I'm just thinking, it seems a little unfair that you're doing this all for free."

"Oh, it's my pleasure! I can't thank you enough for helping the farmers and Kaho-san!" Chitanda answers sincerely.

"Still …" Houtarou says and pauses for a bit. Their ghostbusting business has been booming lately, it'd be hard to keep up if it's just the three of them managing all the schedules. "Say, Chitanda, would you be open to the idea of working with Satoshi, Ibara and I?"

Chitanda goes quiet on the other line, likely shocked. "You mean … become the fourth ghostbuster? Using the proton pack and containment unit and whatnot?"

"Yes,"

"It'll be quite an adventure, wouldn't it?"

"You could say that." Houtarou says.

Chitanda pauses again, but just like the image of Chitanda blushing, Houtarou can see a smile spreading on her face. He thinks he knows what her answer will be, so he nudges her forward and goes:

“So, what do you say?”

* * *

**end**

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: In which I dress Satoshi up because his sunflower and Saturn outfit are not enough. 
> 
> I have a few AU drafts after the _Hyouka Discord Server_ celebrated AU-gust. But, I also wrote this because I'm procrastinating lol. Happy spooky month, everyone!
> 
> — 3 October 2020


End file.
